I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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