just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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