True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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