Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
