apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
