I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
