I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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