it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
