We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
vagina is talking i cant
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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