Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
