so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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