It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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