Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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