Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
