You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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