you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize