Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize