this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
