hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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