my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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