i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Apparently you make a good broom.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
