the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
