I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
