i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
