it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
