That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I had to cum in my sink.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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