Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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