did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
