yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
