I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
