My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
