I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just blew my weed a kiss
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
