there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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