I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
