I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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