I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
