At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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