no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
This toilet bowl is my home.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
