I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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