My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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