reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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