If that was your dad, he is hot
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
