You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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