Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
