I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
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