Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
