In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
