My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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