Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
