oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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