You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
