In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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