my sisters under your porch take her home
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
