i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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