this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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