it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
