Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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