I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
