Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
