is your mom at the bar?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
